This week, there was a lot of anger floating around 'The City' and 'The Hills.' In each show, one person was the locus of the anger. Pretty much everyone on the 'The City' was angry at Olivia, after she stood up Whitney at what was supposed to be an interview for Elle.com. In Los Angeles, the kids were more or less their merry shopping, dating and drinking selves, except for Spencer, who despite lots of heavy breaths and pleas to himself to stay calm, spewed anger like an Icelandic volcano. His antics reminded us of the "Serenity Now!" episode from Seinfeld.

Most surrealistic sequence
Heidi decides to throw a party for their seven-year-old neighbor, Enzo. To Spencer's deep chagrin, she instructs the party planner to put maybe some animals here, and some wizards there. Cue an elephant with a garland and little kids with balloon guns. "This is Spencer's life," Charlie says to Brody as they stand apart and marvel at the spectacle. "This is what he's created for himself." (Charlie is quickly becoming The Hill's Greek chorus.) Later, when Brody asks Kristin why she wasn't at the party, she says, without irony or humor, "Well, I don't know Enzo that well."

Winner: 'The Hills,' because nothing on 'The City' comes close to Heidi riding an elephant and Spencer nuzzling a lamb.

Best veiled threat of violence
Olivia doesn't show up to interview Whitney at her photo shoot, despite it being an assignment as part of her job at Elle. "I will come up like a shark under a glass-bottomed boat and whip the s*** out of her," Kelly says after learning that Olivia had bad-mouthed the Whitney Eve collection to Elle. Later, Kelly instructs Whitney to put Olivia in her place, but to do it person, and never in email or in writing.

Spencer bad-mouths Heidi's mother in front of Heidi and her sister, Holly, saying he's going to put a child with a gun on a plane to get their mother, Darlene. Spencer says that his mother-in-law "raped [Heidi] emotionally in every crevice of her body." Holly is understandably peeved and when she tries to defend her mother, Spencer, while cradling a lamb on his lap, threatens to carry Holly off his property himself.

Winner: 'The City,' because Kelly's right (and not just because we love the terrifying 'Jaws' reference). Losing your cool in email is just asking for those notes to show up publicly somewhere.

Best example of contemporary dating
Photographer Zach takes Roxy out for dinner, where she makes baby talk while discussing her dog before sharing camera phone photos. They then bond over cold New York City winters.

Kristen and Brody meet for cocktails. Brody scans his phone and announces his current crush Audrina is texting him. "Oh look, it's all my boyfriends texting me!" Kristen responds. She then asks Brody if he hooked up with Audrina, protesting she wouldn't mind if the answer was yes. "If you didn't lie to me, I wouldn't mind," she says, as if generations of men haven't fallen for and lived to rue the day they believed that lil' old lie. (Don't do it!)

Winner: It's a draw. Both interactions seem sincere in an awkward dating-under-the-camera kind of way, and we're just guessing here, but these conversations are probably just as plebeian when the cameras are off.

Best example of barely-controlled anger
We'll nominate three sequences from 'The City:' Erin scolds Olivia for not showing up and embarrassing Elle. Then Joe Zee gives Olivia another tongue-lashing, saying he's tired of sticking up for her. Whitney closes out the show by calling Olivia a bitch to her face. Olivia stammers an explanation to her boss but retreats quickly from Erin and Whitney.

After Enzo's party, Holly tries to talk to Heidi, but she's interrupted by Spencer. A screaming match ensues, in which Spencer emotes like a preacher. "You're the biggest poser in this town," he yells at Holly. "And you're going to burn for it." Heidi's face barely registers any emotion as Holly dissolves into tears and Spencer slams the door on the way out. He stews outside, then heckles Holly as she leaves.

Winner: 'The Hills'?

'The Hills' takes the win this week, but if the previews for next week prove reliable, Spencer is headed for a breakdown. Even this week, his friends' body language was hard to miss. And if they think he's nuts, and the cameras keep rolling, it raises interesting questions about the ethics of the show's impact on its characters. As they say, stay tuned til next week...